Happy birthday to me!

The past few days have been hectic. I have been embarking on an inward journey. Taking a break, pulling myself inwards, and introspecting my life is something that I usually do. Today is my birthday. I’m turning 23 today. I never felt anything special on my birthday in the past apart from receiving wishes from my friends and family. But this year, I am feeling something different from past years. It is a good feeling, though. The past few years have been a real struggle for me. But somehow, I am managing to fight against both inner and outer demons.

Twenty-two was a chaotic ride. Maybe it is because I am growing and changing constantly. Or it might be a period of transition towards a new phase of my life. Perhaps I am struggling because a part of me may not be wanting to leave the irresponsible youth, or it also could be the part of me that is really not great with change and exploring the unknown. Sometimes it feels like I am losing myself. I have never felt like myself for years. But I accept this phase gracefully with gratitude. I am learning and growing. I’m learning to go with the flow. Not only that, but I am using this period to retreat and replenish my soul. There are moments in life where you have to sit back and let things unfold in their own phase. Resisting will do no good. But I am happy. Because I will not let myself fail. It is not in my blood.

Even though I sound sad and depressed in the previous paragraph, I am really excited to face this year ahead. I look forward to facing this year with grace and radiance and can’t wait to know what this year holds for me. I have new hopes for this year, and I have new plans for this year. Stepping into a new era of my life, taking on new responsibilities, and making myself open to new opportunities and adventures. I feel all this was a part of my reinvention and transformation to a better version. With the blessings of the universe, I will continue to shed my light all along.

I am hoping for a year that nourishes my soul. Filled with days when I sing the music of the sun and witness the blooming of ultraviolence and ascend to the sacred dimension.

With love

Vishu Memories

Today is Vishu. April 15th of 2022. Vishu is the regional new year festival in Kerala, a state in India. This festival is widely celebrated in other states in India but under different names. It marks the first day of the regional solar-based calendar.

I have a lot of fond memories of Vishu. It is one of the most anticipated festivals in our community. In the middle of the summer, we welcome the new year with new hopes for our lives.

Childhood memories are the best ones. As I have mentioned earlier, I have a lot of beautiful memories of Vishu. It is not just a festival to me, but rather an important paragraph of nostalgia in my life. Every time I reread it, it gets better. Like a fine wine. It’s like the movie that you keep watching on repeat.

I have always observed the changes in the atmosphere during the Vishu season. It falls in the middle of the summer. But this year our place received unexpected and long summer rain, which gave me a different vibe than the familiar. I was not feeling well emotionally for the past few days, but yet somehow I managed to pull myself together. I was the one who was assigned to arrange the auspicious display known as Vishukkani. Vishukkani is an arrangement of freshly harvested fruits, vegetables, and grains along with money, gold, new cloth, golden shower flowers, and oil lanterns, in front of the idol of Lord Krishna (an Indian deity). I think I did a good job arranging the display under the supervision of my mother. This is considered a gratitude offering to God for the harvest and hopes and prayers for the abundant and prosperous year ahead. This display is the first thing you see in the new year according to the tradition. It is believed that seeing such abundant sight will bring you luck and prosperity in the coming year. People see this display in the early hours of the morning, between 3 AM and 5 AM.

(This is the auspicious display I did. Sorry for the poor quality.)

The most warming memory of the Vishu is bursting firecrackers and sparklers. This was the most interesting part of celebrating Vishu in childhood for me. As a belief, our ancestors said that we burst firecrackers to clear the negative energy, and sparklers to invite love and light to one’s life, home, and neighborhood. This is the extravagant side of the Vishu celebration. I have often done this with my father and my big brother since childhood. Nowadays I’m not so fond of this part of the celebration, considering how much damage it could do to the environment since our state consists of nearly 38 million people.

I just love the atmosphere when it’s Vishu season. The mango tree in my yard blossoms. It entices birds, bees, and butterflies to our home. Flowers are blooming everywhere. It is summer and the sun is hot and shining. The golden shower trees bloom in the early summer and golden shower flowers will be abundant. Just seeing the shining yellow flower alone makes me happy. To be honest, I have always dreamt of lying on a bed made of golden shower flowers.

(Cassia Fistula, also known as Golden Shower. A significant flower in Kerala culture and is the official state flower. I took this picture! 😆)

I used to enjoy this festival a lot in my childhood days. We used to visit my uncle’s home and have a family get-together. Playing with my cousins, meeting and receiving gifts from the elderly, and having a grand meal with more than seven side dishes, all became a thing of the past since we have grown and become busy with our lives. But no offense, it all happening in the way it is supposed to happen. Furthermore, I am grateful for all those beautiful memories.

I am hoping you all are doing great too. I love you and thank you for all the support

With love


Today, my town received the first rain of the year. The beautiful summer rain, accompanied by thunder and lightning. I always loved rain. I mean, who wouldn’t? It is such a fascinating phenomenon that helps us to sustain in this wonderful planet. It is really hot in here in India, since it’s summer right now. So today’s rain was a blessing. Like everybody else, I’ve always loved rain. It brings me so many memories. It soothes my heart, nourishes my mind and body and calms my soul.

I have always observed rain from a different perspective. I’ve always connected rain to the femme fetale, the beauty with the power of destruction. It has an aesthetic beauty that will not depreciate regardless of time. A beauty that will be appreciated and admired by generations and generations. But she could wreak havoc on you in a matter of a second. She could put the entire planet through catastrophe.

(Photograph rights reserved to the respective owner)

Rain is the rhythm of the earth. It is one of the most beautifully composed poem by earth. It is music of soul, it is the sound of angel, it is the lullaby of mother nature. It has the power of healing. Rain heals the planet and inhabitants. Back in childhood, I have heard people saying various myths about rain. Some of my pals used to say that rain is the tears of god. They said that god cried when do something wrong and the sadness is manifested as rain in this dimension to remind us. Some said it is the blessing of ancestors. When I look back at it now, all I could see is innocence. When life was simpler and filled with love and appreciation for simple matters.

Rain is a perfectly orchestrated firework of nature. Much safer and beautiful than the real one. Like a firework display, it has a pattern, it has a rhythm, it is a treat to eyes and ears. In the end, the viewer is satisfied experiencing an extravagant event. Rain has a lot in common with firework. Not only that, it does sound like a firework, the gray rain clouds resemble the smoke of the firework. I noticed that the nimbus clouds, even though they are, gray, they have a mild glow to it. And the light reflected from the nimbus clouds reflects to the trees and leaves, makes them glow too. It is such a satisfying thing to see. The fragrance of earth after the rain takes you to another dimension.

Rain is one of the most important thing I am grateful for. I grew up as a loner and a black sheep, so I never felt I fit in. But I always had this yearning for belongingness. Even though I haven’t found the place I belong, I have always felt secure when I’m out in nature. And I feel that when I am standing in rain, the mother nature is embracing me, regardless of my flaws and quirks. I enjoy rain with all my senses. But the fascinating part is that, enjoying it with my superpowers. Sensitivity, creativity and intuition. I’m sensitive to nature. Hence, I notice the changes in the environment easily. I find the connection between these sensations and try to decipher what it is trying to tell me. Finally, I let it out and express myself free, and it enriches my soul.

If you have made this far, I know you would probably think I’m a weird creature that needs serious help or a simple person with a different perspective, who appreciate simple things in life. I am thankful to each one of you for your support.

With love,